She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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