like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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