that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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