Im at strip club and am horny
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need water and some morals
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
