I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
