You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
