if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
