What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
