Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
