my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
