I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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