we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In America we eat man semen.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
