Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
