I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
