giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
