on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
