My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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