Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
