can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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