In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
