He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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