i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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