So drunk, too bad you don't want this
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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