I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
