I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
