New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
