Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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