somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize