i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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