Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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