I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
