I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
