I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
