Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am available for nakedness
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wear drunk well.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
