you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
