Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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