At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
