I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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