i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
