I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
