I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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