i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
