you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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