apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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