Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
