dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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