Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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