I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
