We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize