you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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