Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
