I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
