I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
