if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
