i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
