New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
