You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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