if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
