i can't believe i had my finger in that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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