let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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