i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
