just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
