I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
